What will you be remembered for?

A couple of years ago I thought I had it all. I had had some success, traveled often, and seemingly had everything a young single woman could need. Yet still I felt that something was missing. I would lie in bed thinking about the direction my life was going and always felt vaguely uneasy. One day I got a message from my neighbour informing me my father had died, and this marked a turning point for me both personally and professionally. I had been close to my father, and returning home for his funeral I was filled with many conflicting emotions.

      At my dad’s funeral the priest conducting the services read an excerpt from the book “Tuesday’s with Morrie” which was a book I was familiar with, but that really took on added meaning given the circumstances. Hearing the priest talk about regret really struck a cord in my heart, and something occurred to me at that moment which I’ll never forget.

And so when i watched his coffin and listened to them read his eulogy,I kept asking myself,"what will i be remembered for?' Assuming that was my funeral,what would people consistently say about be?

I dont know about you but when i die i want people to say,"Here lies the person who changed millions of lives of poor opharned children' That is what i want to be remembered for.

I was watching troy last night and the messanger boy came to achilies and said,"The Thesselonian you're fighting... he's the biggest man i've ever seen. I wouldn't want to fight him' Then Achilies looked at the boy and said "That's why no one will remember you?'

     The thing is I have forgotten something in my life that I used to believe very firmly. Martin Luther King’s quote that “Life’s most persistent question is, what are you doing for other people” were words that I had once pledged to live by, but somewhere along the way I had gotten lost. For several years I have been living almost exclusively for myself and I have realized at this moment,after remembering my father’s funeral that something has to change in my life.I want to be remembered for something greater than me.I do not want people to wonder exactly what i did for other people,or the exact kind of life i had lived.What it a good one?

What about you?What is your story? What do you want to be remembered for?

Where is God when you really need Him?

I am in bed. I am not awake .I am not asleep either. I have been staring at the popcorn ceiling for quite some time. Then I let out a big sigh, everyday has the same routine for one week now. Stare out the window, think about why God is hiding His face from me, yell at the birds, eat breakfast, sit at the park, come home, watch the news, curse the world, eat dinner and go to bed. I am a modern day misery, nobody really knows much about me, and the people that know me, probably don’t even remember I exist. I have cut myself off from all my friends.

  On a normal day, I’d be having coffee with one of my numerous friends. We would probably be singing our favorite hymns and thanking God for being so good to us and for saving us. And if not that I’d probably preparing a sermon for Sunday. Yes! I am a preacher. If you had me preach, you would probably think that the sun rises and sets in my eyes. Think again. You know I could write this blog and paint a very beautiful picture of how close I am to God right now and how much I pray, read His word, and the likes

  But who am I trying to impress? I am no seeker for jobs. No head has impressed me enough to be honored with such a lie. The truth of the matter is I have been struggling with God and I got t a point where I gave up. Have you ever tried to pray consistently for something and then you got to a point where you feel like God is not listening? I have.

That is why I am writing tonight?
Hopefully in this pursuit I will find God